My mother’s favorite charity is Saint Jude’s Children’s hospital. It became my favorite too. Last year, we gifted a child that had just beat stage four cancer to Disney World for her first trip. I feel strongly about raising awareness for childhood cancer research as it only receives 4% of the overall funding of the billions that are raised. We need to do better. The words below come from my friend Ani Maggio. They are in memory of her special boy. I am honored to share her words here.
It has been six years. Six Thanksgivings, and soon to be six Christmases. Every holiday passes like a tick mark on the calendar and a sigh of relief that we made it. We “survived” the holidays. They say the first year of “everything” is the hardest. Your first Christmas not here with us, your first birthday celebrated in heaven. The first year of surviving without you. They are right to a certain extent. Year six is not that much easier, different- yes, more tolerable, but not easy. I still wish to hide away from the world from October through January.
Family gatherings are always challenging, and that empty seat at the table can even bring me to my knees. Shopping for two (instead of 3) Christmas pajamas will inevitably have me sobbing in the middle of Target. What starts out as a routine trip to the store can quickly turn into a full-blown panic attack. That’s the thing about grief. It’s like an ocean. On the surface, things look calm and comfortable to swim. But in an instant, the currents change, and you feel like you are being taken under.
Grief can sneak up on you. One minute you are fine; the next, you’re crying in the middle of a store because you are reminded of the severity of what you have lost.
Most people don’t understand that I am not only grieving the loss of my child, I am also mourning the life he will never have. The first day of school he will never have, his graduation, his first car, his wedding day, the grandbabies that will never exist. I grieve all of it. I mourn him and the life milestones he never experienced. The holidays are a constant reminder of what could have been, of what should have been.
JJ died seven days before Thanksgiving. During a holiday when so many are feeling grateful, I am internally screaming and grieving my son. I am quick-tempered, distracted, full of anxiety and often having to host a party has me crawling out of my skin. I am also grateful, full of hope, and blessed. All these emotions can co-exist; they do co-exist. I am often simultaneously feeling a rainbow of emotions in the same breath.
If you know someone grieving this holiday season, please try and be patient. Be gentle. Have grace. It has been six years for us, and I can assure you I can be transported right back to the day he died instantly. Please take nothing we do personally. Ultimately, our grief isn’t about you. We need less advice and more presence.
Hold space for us and the one we grieve. Just be there to hold our hand while we weather yet another storm of grief and lost memories. Let us talk about our child or loved one, or not talk about them (that is ok too). Basically, let us lead and just be there for us. There is no wrong or right way to grieve. Only allow us to do it in our own way.
Grief is uncomfortable and messy, but our love for the one we lost is beautiful and pure. Because our love is so tremendous, our grief will be too. Will you just sit with us and let us be?
We have been incredibly blessed, and we want to leave a legacy for our girls of giving back. That is when we had the idea to start our own little charity/tradition as a family to spread kindness, sunshine, and pay it forward each holiday season. We wanted it to be something that our girls could continue to do after we are gone, continuing to pay it forward year after year during the holiday season. You can read more about our 2019 Pixie Dust Recipient and her story here: 2019 Pixie Dust Today Parenting
2020 has been such a difficult year for so many. We hope to bring some sunshine to the life of a deserving child.
We will accept submissions starting today, Tuesday, December 1st, through Wednesday, December 9th. The recipient will be selected and announced by Wednesday, December 16th. The recipient may be announced sooner depending on the volume of submissions received.
The 2020 A Little Bit of Pixie Dust gift will include:
Due to COVID, this year’s gift will be digital. The recipient must have a valid email address to receive the gift.
This year’s Pixie Dust will be a $500 Amazon gift card. We hope that this will allow for a deserving child to have a memorable holiday season this year!
Once the child is selected, we will notify them privately first. Then, we will announce it on Instagram/Facebook with a photo of the recipient(s) and their first names only.
Family and friends are not eligible to enter. Our intention is to pay it forward to those outside of our family/friends.
Family & friends, if you know a child/family that fits the criteria, please tag them in the comments of the Instagram post: She Pens Blog Instagram or Facebook post: She Pens Blog Facebook You can also direct them to this post.
To Enter (please read carefully):
Email: shepensblog@gmail.com the following:
Subject line: A Little Bit of Pixie Dust Submission
Copy and Paste the following into the body of your email and answer each question please:
Your full name and your child’s name: (you may nominate a child that is not your own, but please include your full name as well as your relation to the child)
*if you are selected only your first name/child’s first name will be used on social media*
Photo of you and your child (please attach it to your email or include it in the body of the email)
Where you reside:
Your Instagram account (so we can follow you):
Your Facebook account (so we can follow you):
*Must have a social media account (Instagram or Facebook) that we can follow*
Your phone number:
Your mailing address:
Your email address:
Do you agree to allow us to share your first names and picture(s) as the recipient of this gift?
Now, In 200 words or less tell us what this $500 gift card would mean to you: (entries over 200 words will be disregarded).
Deadline to enter/submit is Wednesday, December 9th.
We will select the recipient as a family.
Please be sure you are following me on social media in order to keep up to date on information. My Instagram is: She Pens Blog Instagram And my Facebook is: She Pens Blog Facebook
If you have a question that was not answered here, please direct message me on Instagram or email me at the Gmail above.
Instagram, Amazon, and Facebook are released of responsibility by each entrant or participant.
This is in no way sponsored, endorsed, or administered by, or associated with, Instagram, Amazon, or Facebook.
We can’t wait to spread some cheer this holiday season!
Autumn, I have always loved you.
Your colors, your leaves.
The way the wind begins to announce its presence.
It tickles the back of my neck during the day,
It makes music by my window as I sleep during the night.
Autumn, you are beautiful.
You cue us that change is coming.
That the weight of whatever is weighing us down,
Making it hard for us to breathe,
Will not be around forever.
We wake up one morning to feel the cooler air unexpectedly,
The crispness of what is new makes us feel hopeful.
Autumn, you open the door to the most exquisite time of year.
You cause reflection.
We look back upon what has already passed,
Yet yearn for what is to come.
Autumn, you paint in colors that speak to my soul.
Leaves of orange, brown, and yellow breathe life into the trees.
Autumn, you call to us.
You remind us that often,
The most beautiful things must fall to rise and become new again.
Ask any Hispanic or Latino, and they will tell you,
Our Thanksgiving is between two worlds, the Hispanic and the American.
In my case, it is between the American, the Cuban, the Argentine, and the Puerto-Rican.
They blend to form traditions that are rich, mixed, and often complicated.
The old meets the new.
The viejitos (older folks) yearn to hold on to the past. To everything they know or once knew.
They share stories about the country they left.
Everything was better until (said dictator) came along.
They had to pick up and forge ahead in a new country with new traditions.
They remind us regularly to be forever grateful that we are American.
Los jóvenes (young folks) attempt to teach los viejitos about everything that is new.
We answer every technology question.
We show off every new gadget.
We disagree with them over old school politics, ways of thinking, and ways of living.
But somewhere along the way, we meet in the middle.
Between the old and the new.
Between the Spanish and the American.
Because of them, hard work is as natural to us as breathing.
Because of the risks they took, we are American.
Because of us, they have new technologies to make their life a bit easier.
Because of us, they are more open-minded to new ideas.
Because of us, they experience the deliciousness that is sweet potato casserole.
My Thanksgiving celebrations since childhood are a mix of everything that is American.
Our table is as diverse as our country.
We have pastelitos, and we have spinach dip.
Broccoli casserole and pumpkin pie call our name.
We never miss the white rice and black beans.
Cornbread? Yes. Cuban bread? Also, yes.
We celebrate with a turkey but often with a pig roast too.
Wine is never in short supply, and a coquito toast takes us back to the islands.
Yuca and mash potato are sides to an endless table.
And don’t forget the flan and cafecito (Cuban expresso)!
The food is plentiful and a testament to the American table.
A table that is full of diversity and flavors from all over the world.
Our music is salsa, and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving plays on the T.V.
Because of them, we are American.
Hay que darle gracias a Dios por todo, they’ll say.
We must thank God for everything.
Our Thanksgiving is a mix of cultures.
It is quintessentially American.
I wouldn’t change a thing.
I almost beat my husband at Toy Story Mania yesterday. ALMOST.
Toy Story Mania is a fun arcade-style shooting game. I always lose to my husband. ALWAYS.
Yesterday when we played, I started out very strong. Surprisingly, I was winning after the first three rounds. I felt confident.
No, he was not “letting me win” those rounds.
He was, however, shooting for accuracy instead of focusing on raising his score. I, determined to beat him, concentrated solely on boosting my score.
As we entered the LAST round, I was STILL WINNING.
I felt the taste of victory!
I said to myself, “TODAY IS F.I.N.A.L.L.Y. THE DAY! I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO BEAT HIM!”
Well, in that last round, he decided to focus on raising his score AND his accuracy.
Rut-Roh (in my best Scooby voice).
He won.
He beat me.
I am the blue score. He is the red score.
What this experience taught me (and reminded me to teach our children):
My husband won (again) because he has more practice in this area than I do. He started out in law enforcement nearly 20 years ago. In life, it is not always that someone is “just better than you at something.” Your competition may have more experience with that skill, which means you have to work hard to either catch up to their skill level or decide that you are satisfied with the level you have achieved.
Some people will “just be better than you” at (insert skill). It happens. You will often hear that (insert name) was born with a “gift” for (insert skill). We are all born with individual “gifts.” It is also true that we have to use those gifts, practice them, and improve upon them to “perfect the skill.” Often, the person that wins is not the person born with “the gift,” but the person who invested more time in perfecting “the skill.”
I became overconfident when I was beating him. After the first few rounds, I thought to myself, “I got this today.” Did I work hard to continue winning? Yes, but I did reach a level of “complacency” because my score was so far ahead of his score. I think it is human nature to ease off the pedal a bit when we are “on top.” This is OK. Sometimes we all need a break.
Nevertheless, we have to be careful, and we need to avoid becoming too complacent. Complacency can lead to having the rug swept from under you at the last minute. That is what happened to me. I became complacent, thinking I “had him” only to have him swoop in and win during the last round. If you want to win, make sure you put in 100% from start to finish.
Do not assume anything is “already yours.” No, that victory was not mine because I was “already winning.” People may say, “But I was winning the WHOLE TIME right until the end!”
Well, you did not win when it counted. Nothing is guaranteed until the race is over. You do not deserve to win because you “were winning the whole time.” That is not how it works. If you want to win, you have to win when it counts. You do not win one minute before time is called, you win when time is actually called.
Sometimes you will do everything in your power to win. You will work hard. You will practice. You will avoid becoming complacent. You will do your absolute best. Well, you may still lose. It happens. It may not be a fair loss, or it may be a fair loss. This is a part of life. Losing will still hurt. You will be fine, and life will go on.
You will surprise yourself. You will have victories that you did not expect.
You will disappoint yourself. You will have losses you feel you should have won.
You must have fun in the process. Remember, the process is your life story, and you want to enjoy the ride.
Lastly, you can also hope to catch your competition on an off day and beat them then.
I will keep at it against your dad, and maybe one day, he will have an off day. Hey, stranger things have happened!
Thank you, Laura.
Are you like Laura?
Yesterday when I went to pick up my child at school, she was not at her usual spot.
I scanned my eyes over the crowd of children.
I could not see my child. In my mind, I said, “Where is she?”
Soon, I started saying it aloud.
Laura steps in.
I am not related to Laura. We are not close friends.
I know her from around town, and we have become acquaintances.
We have some things in common, including that our children attend the same school.
Maybe one day, we will be close friends, but right now, we are in the acquaintance zone.
When Laura noticed I was looking for my baby girl, she immediately stepped in.
“Where is she?” I asked the substitute. The substitute told me, “I’m sorry, I don’t know the kids. Maybe check the front office.”
My daughter is five. If she is not where she needs to be at dismissal, mama cannot help but get slightly into a panic. It is a large school, and she can be anywhere.
Laura jumped into action. She has been a parent longer at the school than I have. She said, “You go to the front office. I am going to ask ________ and ________ to go find her. Don’t worry, we will find her. I will keep looking around here, and you go to the front office.”
I ran to the front office. They called my daughter’s teacher on the phone.
She did not answer and my nerves continued to build.
My daughter’s teacher called the front office back. She had mistakenly sent her somewhere different for dismissal.
I breathed a gigantic sigh of relief.
Reunited with my daughter, I went to Laura.
Laura told my daughter, “You scared me. You scared your mama! We were looking for you. I even had _____ and _____ looking for you too.”
My daughter said she was sorry, though nothing was her fault, and I reminded her of that. Laura was just letting her know how much she cared and how worried she was. Laura was living by the motto, “every child matters.”
I thanked Laura several times and we went on our way for the day.
I thought about this experience all evening.
Laura did not have to help me. She owed me nothing.
Again, I am not related to her. We are not close friends.
I am merely an acquaintance.
Nevertheless, Laura took the time to help me.
She helped me because she saw I was scared that I could not find my daughter.
She helped me because my child needed help.
She helped me because she decided to take five minutes out of her time to care for another person’s problem.
She helped me because she knows it takes a village.
Instead of just saying, “It takes a village,” Laura’s actions lived up to that.
Plenty of people pretend not to notice when another person is in distress.
Not Laura. She jumped right into action.
Imagine if we all behaved this way towards our children?
Imagine what kind of community we could build if we all truly lived by the motto, “It takes a village.”
So today, I challenge you to be more like Laura.
Do it for the mama that is stressed out.
Do it for the kids that need an extra pair of eyes on them.
Do it for your community.
You’ll help change the world, one action at a time.
I love you today.
I love you tomorrow.
I loved you yesterday.
I loved you the day before yesterday.
I will love you next week and the week after.
I will always love you.
50 years from now, I will love you.
100 years from now, I will love you.
I will love you with each sunrise.
I will love you with each sunset.
I will love you through each success.
I will love you through each failure.
I will love you through the pain.
I will love you through the joy.
150 years from now, I will love you.
200 years from now, I will love you.
I love you with each breath I take.
I will love you with the last breath I take.
I love you with my heart.
I love you with my words.
I love you with my actions.
I love you with everything that I am.
250 years from now, I will love you.
300 years from now, I will love you.
I love you more than the deepest canyon.
I love you more than the highest peak.
I love you more than the widest valley.
I love you more than the bluest ocean.
I love you more than the expansive sky.
I love you more than EVERYTHING.
When I am no longer physically here, I will still love you.
No matter where I am, I will love you.
My soul, wherever it may be, will always love you.
So if you ever feel alone,
Know that with every breath you take,
I will love you, and my soul awaits you.
#love, #loveyou, #child, #mama, #shepensblog #loveyoualways, #forever
#heart, #mommyhood, #mama, #heart, #myheart, #soul, #journey, #daughter
In our home, we frequently discuss the values we instill our girls. We have a select few charities that we donate to when we can, but we wanted to do more. We have been incredibly blessed, and we want to leave a legacy for our girls of giving back. That is when we had the idea to start our own little charity/tradition as a family to spread kindness, sunshine, and pay it forward each holiday season. We wanted it to be something that our girls could continue to do after we are gone, continuing to pay it forward year after year during the holiday season.
We were inspired by some of the community outreach work my husband has done in Florida. We have come to learn that many children living in Florida have never been to Disney World. As Disney annual passholders, we wanted to share the joy that Disney brings us with a child that either has never been or has not been recently. Life can throw any family a curveball, and a child that went when they were 2 years old perhaps has not been able to return. We want to give a child that resides in Florida and their parent a day of special memories at the Magic Kingdom.
We will accept submissions starting today, Thursday, Septemeber 12th through Friday, September 20th.
We are calling this gift: A Little Bit of Pixie Dust. It will include:
Ticket for 1 Florida parent/guardian and 1 child to the Magic Kingdom to use in October, November or December 2019 (Holiday season). We would love to give this gift to a child that has never been to the Magic Kingdom before, but that is not a requirement to enter your submission. This is for regular entrance to the park (Mickey’s Not So Scary/Very Merry are not included).
Also included: Parking fee (if needed) and a $50 gift card for purchases in the park. This can save a family over $350 to make special holiday memories at the Magic Kingdom this year!
Travel to and from the park is not included. Hotel is not included. Stroller or other rental equipment that may be needed will not be included. In the future, if we are able, we hope to add a more extensive package that provides for more tickets and a hotel stay.
Please remember this is for Florida residents only (proof of State of FL ID required).
Child is anyone 17 and under (children older than 17 with special needs that are cared for by a parent/guardian are welcome to enter)
Once the recipient is selected, we will notify them privately first. Then, we will announce it on Instagram/Facebook with a photo of the recipient(s) and their first names only.
We will decide with the recipient on a date to go to the park sometime between October and December 2019. We will meet you at the gate (before monorail/ferry) to provide you with your gift. You are not required to stay with us the entire day at the park! We just want to meet you at the front gate to present you with your gift. Fastpasses (you can pick your fastpasses beforehand, and we will go over that with the recipient).
Family and friends are not eligible to enter. We intend to pay it forward to those outside of our family/friends. Family & friends, if you know a Florida family that fits the criteria, please tag them in the comments of the Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/shepensblog/ or Facebook post (not the photo) and forward this information on to them. It is also posted on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/shepensblog/ if you would like to search for it there and share it on Facebook.
To Enter:
Email: shepensblog@gmail.com the following:
Subject line: A Little Bit of Pixie Dust Submission
Copy and Paste the following into the body of your email and answer each question please:
Your full name and your child’s name:
*if you are selected only your first name/child’s first name will be used on social media*
Photo of you and your child (please attach it to your email or include it in the body of the email)
Where in FL you reside:
Your Instagram account (so we can follow you):
Your Facebook account (so we can follow you):
Do you have a Florida Driver’s License or FL State issued ID (answer must be yes to enter):
Do you agree to allow us to share your first names and picture(s) as the recipient of this gift?
Do you agree to share pictures from your experience in the park?
Now, In 200 words or less tell us what this day at the Magic Kingdom would mean to you: (entries over 200 words will be disregarded).
Deadline to enter/submit is Friday, September 20th.
We will select the recipient as a family and announce it soon after the submission deadline.
You are not required to follow me on Instagram/Facebook to enter, but it may make it easier to be kept up to date with information. My Instagram is https://www.instagram.com/shepensblog/ And my Facebook is: https://www.facebook.com/shepensblog/
If you have a question that was not answered here, please direct message me on Instagram or email me at the Gmail above.
Instagram, Disney and Facebook are released of responsibility by each entrant or participant.
This is in no way sponsored, endorsed, or administered by, or associated with, Instagram, Disney or Facebook.
We can’t wait to spread some cheer this holiday season!
As I was driving down the street recently, I noticed a swarm of vultures eating and picking away at whatever roadkill happened to meet its fate.
At that moment, I thought to myself, we need fewer vultures.
I do not mean the animal. The animal is part of the “circle of life” as they say.
We need to remove the vulturous people from our lives.
We need to be sure we are not surrounding ourselves with vultures.
You know a vulture when you see one.
They always appear when you are down to make you feel worse.
They wait for you to fail to tell you, “I told you so.”
They hover around you long enough until you fall.
They anxiously wait for you to become more helpless.
They do not encourage, they discourage.
Their strength lies in making you believe you are worthless.
Their strength lies in making you believe you cannot achieve success.
Their strength always lies in your weakness.
Vultures can be anyone.
They can be your family.
They can be your friends.
They can be that woman that lives two doors down from you.
Make sure you identify the vultures in your life.
Vultures often work in packs.
Vultures frequently need “other vultures” to validate their behavior.
They prefer to share the scraps and the sorrow than witness someone succeed.
Misery loves company as they say.
This is why winners often have few friends. Once you make it to the top, a select few want to see you stay there.
Vultures place themselves high above everyone else.
They do this because they like to look down upon others.
They are looking for scraps.
They are looking for you to fail.
They get their kicks from those who stay down.
They need you to falter to feed their ego.
Their survival is dependent on your failure.
So rise up.
Rise up because you are not scraps.
Rise up because your failures do not determine your worth.
Each time you fall, rise up.
Each time you are faltering, catch yourself.
Each time you see a vulture, remember you are an eagle.
Rise up and stay up.
During select dates between August and Halloween, Magic Kingdom transforms into a not so spooky playground starting at 7 p.m.! If you have not attended Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party, you need to pack up your ghoul crew and go! This separately ticketed event often sells out. Get your tickets early!
Here are some of my favorite memories from last year:
Meeting the 7 Dwarfs! The 7 Dwarfs are elusive and only come out for a meet and greet during special events. My little girl was over the moon to meet all seven dwarfs!
We also met Cruella de Vil! We found her walking near the teacup ride in her signature red shoes. She “cruelly” interacted with guests! Very fun!
The special dance parties! My daughter was able to jam out with Vampirina, and she loved every minute of it!
The short wait times for the rides! We only waited twenty-five minutes for Dwarf Mine Train last year!
The Halloween parade! It is one of Disney’s most unique parades and features the fantastical Headless Horseman plus all of your favorite Disney villains!
Free candy! My little girl thoroughly enjoyed trick or treating inside the Magic Kingdom!
Why do I love this event so much?
The event takes place at night. In Florida, that means a break from the heat. During October, you may get lucky and encounter some cooler fall-like temperatures.
With the special event ticket for the Halloween party, you can enter the park as early as 4 p.m. That means you can do some of the rides before the party officially starts at 7 p.m.!
Several of the characters will be available before the party even starts! You can meet Moana, Jack Skellington and Sally, the 7 Dwarfs, Snow White and her Prince, Ariel and Eric together and many other hard to meet characters! You can find Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Donald, and Daisy dressed in their Halloween best!
The unique desserts, such as the adorable Mickey Halloween cupcake are available at the confectionary.
The Hocus Pocus Spelltacular! If you love the Sanderson sisters, you will love this show!
The fantastic Halloween themed firework show which only happens at this event!
If you can attend the event on a Tuesday, Thursday or Sunday, those days are typically less crowded.
Have a spooktacular time making beautiful memories with your loved ones!
#disney #disneyfamily #waltdisneyworld #mickeysnotsoscary #mickeysnotsoscaryhalloweenparty #memories #halloween #halloweenparty #magickingdom #magickingdomevents #specialevents #party #magickingdomfall #meetandgreet #trickortreat #candy #shepensblog #shepens
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