My five-year-old daughter has beautiful curly hair. Natural ringlets with a spring in their step that match her loving personality perfectly. Her hair is long and light brown with golden highlights that glisten in the sun. She receives compliments on her hair frequently. The expressions range from, “Wow, look at ALL THAT hair!” to “Your hair is so curly, it’s gorgeous.” They compare her hair to princess Merida, Moana or even tell her she is a mini Tarzan. My daughter will never have to worry if her hair has enough volume. She has enough to spare, much like her larger than life persona.
My two-year-old daughter has beautiful straight hair. Naturally straight lines with a wisp in their step that match her relaxed personality perfectly. Her hair is getting long, nearly black, and it glistens in the moonlight. She receives compliments on her hair frequently. The expressions range from, “Wow, look at your pretty dark hair!” to “Your hair is so straight and flowy, it’s gorgeous.” They compare her hair to Snow White or Boo from Monsters, Inc. My daughter will not have to worry too much about humidity. Her hair remains flawless in all kinds of weather. Her dark hair and her masterful imitation of Zurg’s evil laugh encapsulate her mischievous persona perfectly.
My five-year-old daughter has also been told, “Wow that is A LOT of hair. How can you even take care of that?” Women have said, “She is going to HATE (they emphasize the pronunciation of the word hate) her hair when she gets older!” They have even felt the need to tell me how to parent my child, stating, “You need to straighten her hair. She’ll love it!” Naturally, they compare her to her sister. “She is going to want her sister’s straight hair when she’s a teenager!” All of this and more as her little ears listen on.
My two-year-old daughter has also been told, “Wow, you have long hair, but it looks a little thin!” Women have said, “she is going to HATE (they emphasize the pronunciation of the word hate) her hair when she gets older because it’s so straight and boring!” They have even felt the need to tell me how to parent my child, stating, “You should start putting some volumizing treatments in her hair now.” Naturally, they compare her to her sister. “She is going to want her sister’s hair color when she’s a teenager!” All of this and more as her little ears listen on.
Surprisingly, they ask, flat out, if the girls have the same father. I have been asked this twice. In case you are wondering too, they do have the same father. I know the majority of people mean no harm by their comments. They are just making conversation, observations, and sharing their thoughts. I want my girls to know; however, that their hair is gorgeous precisely as it is. I want them to know that their hair is, in every inch, as God intended it to be.
My dear Gianna, your hair is curly, often unruly. Like you, your hair is loud and makes a statement the second you enter a room. It is a light, golden brown and sunny, just like you. Your curly hair has a life of its own. It does not lend itself to manage easily, much like you. It is powerful, confident and knows what it wants to do. Every strand of your hair was placed there by a Divine Creator that looked at His finished product and said, “This is good.” Your curly hair is perfect and exquisitely you.
My dear Adalind, your hair is straight and steady. Like you and your laid-back nature, your hair is wispy and flows with the day’s weather perfectly. It is dark and playful just like you. Your rebellious nature and fearless attitude have already given Mama a run for her money. Your straight hair is easy to manage, but you are not. The dark color of your hair is your warning to the world. You are not be toyed with, and your strengths lie beneath the surface. Every strand of your hair was placed there by a Divine Creator that looked at His finished product and said, “This is good.” Your straight hair is perfect and exquisitely you.
Maybe one day you will want to straighten your hair, Gianna. Perhaps one day you will want to change your hair color, Adalind. Maybe you will want to do these things because someone tells you something “mean” about your hair or your looks. Perhaps it will be because you are merely bored and want to try something new. When you are old enough, if either of you wants to experiment with your hair, Mama will be here to help and guide you. I will support you through whatever hair trials you may need to endure. Mama herself survived side ponytails with hot pink scrunchies, 80s rock-hard sky-high bangs, and bleached blonde hair. If my hair survived the million butterfly clips I jammed into what I called an updo, your hair can survive anything.
Here is what I want both of you to know. You will have bad hair days. You will have days that you despise your hair. I want you to look back at what your Mama wrote and remember there was a time that your hair was not a worry for you at all. That you loved and accepted it as it was. That there was a time in your life that you did not pull, yank, heat dry, or over product your hair to death in an attempt to make it “flawless.” Remembering that there was a time in your life that you already knew, it was “flawless” and you did not care what other people thought. You were too busy enjoying life to “hate” your hair.
Here is what I want both of you never to forget. While I want you to have fun and “play” with your hair, I never want you to forget the hair that made you, YOU. The hair that is an extension of your personality. The hair that is a part of who you were created to be. The hair that is the perfect match to your beautiful soul. The hair that Mama adores, Dada goes gaga for and that God perfectly designed, just for you.
Love,
Mommy
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When we went dining room table shopping back in early 2017, I knew what I wanted. Visions of a rustic, elegant round table with a farmhouse look danced in my mind. I was imagining off-white, cottage-farmhouse, with a vase of beautiful pink roses perfectly placed mid-table. Maybe a bowl of lemons too, just to give it a pop of color and fun. Something as we say today, “Instagram worthy!” Then reality set in. At the time, Gianna was three and Adalind was a few months old. The table we purchased was on sale at Costco. It is a long rectangular table with room for eight. We usually do not use the extra two chairs unless we have guests. The table is real wood, and it is quite dark. A complete opposite of my dream table.
Gianna lives her life aloud, through coloring. Gianna makes “cards” for everyone she meets. She makes cards for Disney princesses, for the neighbors, for the bag boy at Publix. Drawing and coloring with whatever is available is her favorite pastime. Pens, markers, crayons, plain pencils- nothing stops her when she wants to color or write special notes. She has a Minnie Mouse table that is perfect for such projects, but that is not where she loves to create her artwork. Gianna wants to create her artwork at the dining room table. She loves the space, the size and that she can have her favorite toys nearby as she “works.” Whereas I may want my phone or a drink nearby, Gianna wants her precious plush monster or another coveted toy close by to watch her work. Adalind does not fall too far behind. She has been coloring for over a year, and she loves it more each day. She grabs the chunky crayons, perfect for toddler hands and scrolls the purple across the page like Picasso. She says, “Mama, see!” Both girls sometimes use extra-large drawing pads while they color. These drawing pads sometimes keep the colors and marks off the table. Most often, they do not.
Gianna also loves to bake, but her favorite part is decorating cookies. Like most children, she anxiously waits to get her hands on the icing, pouring an extra thick layer outside the lines of the cookie. Next, she’ll grab the sprinkles and have a field day. Adalind is learning from her big sister, but she usually goes for a taste test first.
When we sit down to have a meal, there is a specific order. Adalind sits at the head of the table with her booster attached to the chair. She requests to be head of the table every single time. Daddy usually sits to her left, mommy to her right. Gianna likes to sit next to daddy on his left and diagonally across from me. “Right next daddy but where she can see mama’s beautiful face” (her words, not mine). I love sitting across from my husband. I have been sitting across from him for 20 years now. From the time I started dating him at 16, we sat across from one another, rarely sitting right next to each other while eating. It is just how we have always done it.
When we eat, we talk about our day. Gianna may sing her latest favorite song in the middle of dinner. Daddy and mommy may speak a little about essential things, and Adalind will share her giggles and yay or nay if she likes or does not like the food. We mostly talk about the good parts of everyone’s day, the not so good parts and what Gianna is learning in school. We talk about God, the upcoming weekend, family and friends. We always talk about the holidays, especially if one is approaching. Gianna may also throw in a cool fact about dinosaurs, sharks or jungle animals. Adalind when feeling mischievous may throw out her evil Zurg laugh.
When we purchased this table, I told my husband, “This isn’t the table of my dreams, but it’s the table we need. The girls are going to make a mess of whatever table we buy so we shouldn’t spend too much. We need a table that we don’t care too much about.” Those words ring untrue now.
I love this table. This table has seen so many firsts and has so many memories attached to it that it makes me smile each time I see it. This is the first table we sat to have dinner together has a family of four. Before this table, Adalind was in her “rocket” high chair. It had a tray attached to it. She sat close to us but was not actually at the table. When she transitioned to the booster seat attached to the chair, she then sat with us. Instantly, we were a family of four eating at the same table each night.
We had the table for 3 days when I was painting Gianna’s nails, and she spilled the acetone all over the table. I said, “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I followed up with, “Well, I’m glad we didn’t spend too much on a dining room table!” Now, when I look at that acetone stain, I remember that I painted her nails purple, pink and red that day.
We do not have dessert every day. If it is a day that we are having dessert, we will share that dessert much to the girl’s delight. This table saw the girl’s first time making chocolate fondue. We made a mess and had way too much chocolate but the girl’s giggles that day is something I will never forget.
This is the table where we discuss our days, where we pray, where my daughter breaks out into a spontaneous song or dance. Where I tell my husband, “Oh Adalind said this new word today!” This is the table where they try new foods, open presents, and do homework. This is the table where they make a mess with whatever baking adventure we are undertaking. Where they consistently color outside the lines and where they make cards and notes for loved ones.
This is the table where long after the girls have gone to bed, I sit across from my husband, and we discuss important issues. Where we make decisions about our future, how we will save for their college years and how we will deal with whatever problems we are facing. This is the table where we share a glass of wine or steal a kiss. Where we wrap Christmas presents for the girls and eat the cookies they left for Santa.
This is the table where we have hosted family and friends. Shared stories and laughter. Made more messes and more clean-ups than I can count. Where friends have come to experience their first time at Disney World and blow out birthday candles for their child. Where we have sat around after a long day at the parks to share our favorite memories from the day.
This table celebrates birthdays, holidays, triumphs and disappointments. Board games are played, art projects are done, and stories are shared. It’s full of scuff marks, permanent marker and let’s not forget the acetone stain.
This was not the table I originally wanted, but it is just the table I needed. This table did not make my dining room “Instagram worthy,” but that does not matter. It has made memories where they matter most, in our hearts. It also happens to look quite lovely with a vase of pink roses.
Being a mom is hard. Difficult. Challenging. Painful. Backbreaking. Exhausting. These little people push you to the limits of your sanity. Each day in my home, the day starts with “Stop! No! Get down! Don’t run! You’re going to hurt your sister! Be gentle with one another! Don’t push! Stop screaming! Pick up your toys! Gentle with your toys! ¡Eso no se hace (don’t do that)! ¡Ya (stop it already)! ¡Para (Stop)! ¡Bájate de ahí (get down from there)! ¡Toma la leche (drink the milk)!” I’ll say a combination of these phrases in the first 20 minutes of my day. The expressions are endless. The days are endless. The nights go fast, and the wheels start turning again by 7:00 am. Some days by 7:30 am, I already feel like I have reached my limit for the day. But I have not, and I keep going.
I keep going to get them ready for the day. I keep going with a two-year-old that is not quite potty trained and loves to hide both herself and whatever objects are within her reach. The remote, my phone, my husband’s work badge and pretty much anything she can get her hands on to hide. I keep going to make sure my five-year-old is wearing the right clothing. Was today the Dr. Seuss parade? Is today the day she needs to wear the crazy hat? I run and double-check the calendar. No, today is the day she needs to wear crazy socks, not the crazy hat. I keep going to remember that in fact, today I do need to send her with two flowers for her each of her wonderful teachers. I keep going to leave on time so that she is at school on time. I keep going and before we can actually “get going” I have to put her 2-year-old sister in the front seat to play. She pretends she is driving with a huge smile on her face. If I skip this step, getting her into the car seat and getting us out of the driveway becomes a grudge match.
In between all of this, I get non-stop questions or statements of assertion from my extremely curious and sassy five-year-old. “Mommy, do whales eat humans?” “Mommy, did you know that God knows all the bones in our body?” “Mommy I am going to be a superhero detective dancer when I grow up!” “Mommy, can you get me the glue?” “Mommy, did you know the sun is a star?” “Look at my dance moves, mom!” “Mommy, can you give me a cookie?” “Mommy check out my karate kick!” “Mommy, can I be a ballerina karate superstar girl?” “Mommy how many teeth do sharks have?” “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.”
It. Does. Not. Stop. I keep going.
I try to teach my 2-year-old new words and phrases. So far, she has all the important ones down. “I want that!” “Mine!” and “Let it go!” I did not teach her that last one, Elsa did. These phrases will surely help her get her into a top university. Because in between all of the above, I’m also trying to spur her development so that she can go to college or get a stable job one day. Truthfully, I am trying to stimulate her growth so that she can pass all the state-mandated testing that will make her feel they determine her intelligence. They do not.
I take Gianna to her karate class or ballet class, and I have to chase her two-year-old sister around the entire karate or ballet studio. Some days I have help, and I can leave Adalind at home. This gives me the chance to watch Gianna practice. I treasure those practices.
Did I mention in between all of this I have a full-time job? I am not special. What I do, mothers across the country do each day. I want you to know mamas that I see you. I feel you. I hear you.
I ask you to hold on. When you think you can’t parent anymore, you can. When you have reached the end of your rope mama, check again and you will find that there is still rope left. Because while being a mom is challenging, exhausting and stressful, it is also rewarding, adventurous and easy. “Easy?” You are probably thinking, I’ve lost my mommy mind. After reading all this, now she says it is easy?
It is easy because in between all the chaos are little people that adore you. Easy because just when I have reached my limit, my daughters pull me back, hitting me right in the heart. My five-year-old will say, “I love you, mama.” “You are so pretty, mama.” “You are my hero mama!” My two-year-old will hug me and say, “Mama, sit!” because she wants me to color with her. She will run up to me and say “Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” with an extension on the “a” so that she can assert that I am in fact her mother.
In between all the discipline, there are tears wiped, hugs given, and more “I love you” phrases said than I can count. Because even when my two-year-old hides something, the joy on her face when we find it is priceless. Because even when I cannot remember if it is a crazy hat or crazy socks day, seeing my daughter put together her outfits makes me giggle. Because even when I have to spend an extra two minutes with my two-year-old in the driver’s seat so she can play before we leave, one day she will be sixteen and driving on her own. Right now, my daughter’s curious mind asks me all sorts of questions. It won’t be long before these drives are silent with nothing more than, “How was your day?” “Fine, Mom.” No, it won’t be long at all.
I may have been exaggerating about the easy part, it’s not always easy, but it is so worth it. Therefore, Mama, hold on. Remember each day, you have your baby to hold you, kiss you and tell you are the best mom in the whole world. You are. Every single one of you reading this, you are the best mom in the entire world.
Life is often a series of circumstances beyond your control. The day you almost bleed to death is not a day you quickly forget. It is also a day that takes some time to come to terms with. To tell the story entirely, I have to go back to my first pregnancy. My first daughter, Gianna, was born in 2013. My pregnancy with Gianna was smooth with no complications. The day of delivery, I had an emergency C-section because I never dilated and my blood pressure rose. I was in labor 24 hours, given Pitocin and did not dilate at all. My doctor came to me after waiting 24 hours and asked what I wanted to do. He let me know about the blood pressure readings. I told him I was exhausted and ready. While it did not feel like a dire emergency, I was worried about my baby. With my blood pressure rising and the constant Pitocin, I thought the best thing was to deliver and stop putting undue stress on the baby. We proceeded with the C-section, I recovered normally, and everything was “happily ever after.” Gianna was born at 4:26 pm and was a little over 7 pounds.
In 2016, I was pregnant again with my second child. Just like the first time, I did not know the sex, but this pregnancy threw me for a loop from the beginning. I assumed this one would be a boy since it was so different from my first pregnancy. I had morning sickness that I did not have with my first pregnancy. I could not eat or smell certain foods, and even the look of certain foods made me vomit. Around 7 months pregnant, I sprained my ankle and had to wear a medical boot for about 3 weeks. This was incredibly challenging and taking a shower became an Olympic sport of difficulty. I also suffered through plenty of heartburn, and it kept me from sleeping properly. I should have seen these as signs that nothing would go as planned during the delivery.
Since I had a C-section with my first child, the doctor suggested I have a C-section with my second child. I trusted my doctor one hundred percent. Not only did he deliver Gianna successfully, but he has also been delivering babies since the 1980s. He is known to be challenging to work with because he has high expectations and can come off as arrogant. I always found him pleasant and most importantly knowledgeable.
During this time, we were living in El Paso, Texas. We did not have a “village” to help us as our family lives in Miami, Florida. For this baby’s delivery, my in-laws and brother-in-law flew in for a few days to assist us. This was a huge help when you do not have a village nearby! My parents could not make the trip. The C-section was scheduled for November 9, 2016. That morning everything went as planned on our way to the hospital. We arrived early, and we were ready to meet baby number 2.
At 7:04 am, the doctor yelled out, “It’s a girl!” Our doctor loved shouting out the sex both times for both deliveries! He explained that he rarely gets the chance because nearly everyone finds out the sex before birth. We were thrilled to have a little sister for Gianna and Adalind was perfectly healthy at 8 and ½ pounds. My recovery began.
After arriving at my private room, my first recovery nurse greeted me. She asked where my pain level was. I explained that it felt more intense than I remember with my first C-section. I had my blood pressure taken and was told that they would be bringing Adalind to me shortly. I watched TV as we waited and I chatted with my husband. As time went on, I began telling my husband that the pain was becoming more intense and that it felt much worse than it did with Gianna. My husband was supportive and trying to help, but he could not do much to alleviate my pain.
When the nurse came in again, she asked how I was feeling and where my pain was on a scale of 1 to 10. I said I was probably at a 10, perhaps more. I explained that I had a high tolerance for pain, but this was becoming unbearable. She continued to express that every C-section was different and that since this was my second C-section, it was typical for the pain to be more intense. She checked my uterus and said it was contracting as expected. She left and said she would be back soon to check on me again. I wanted to trust her, but I felt something telling me that this was not normal.
When they brought Adalind to us, it was magnificent. Seeing her little face. Holding her tiny fingers. For those brief minutes, the pain was secondary. Adalind latched on like a pro and was ready to breastfeed! Compared to Gianna’s first time breastfeeding, this was a breeze. Adalind latched on quickly and was drinking breast milk right away. It took about twenty minutes for her to breastfeed. I will savor those twenty minutes for the rest of my life.
Once Adalind finished breastfeeding, they took her back to the newborn room. I started talking to my husband, and that is when the unthinkable happened. I hunched over in the bed. The cramping became swift and severe. I felt as if my insides were pulling apart from my body. Immediately after, my bed was soaked with blood. Absolute terror went through my mind. I became disoriented and horrified. My husband immediately started doing everything he could to find a nurse or a doctor, someone to help. My primary nurse came rushing in. She looked scared and confused which frightened me even more. She ran out and soon I had nearly ten nurses in my room. It felt as if I was now in my own episode of Grey’s Anatomy. It became an out of body experience at this point. The pain continued, and the blood continued to flow out of me and soak the bed.
Suddenly in the commotion, I hear, “Hi, I’m Gabby, the head nurse.” She held my hand. “I am going to take care of you. I need to get inside of you and what I am going to do is going to hurt.” My husband was holding my hand. Gabby then proceeded to put her hand inside of me to see if my uterus was contracting. I began screaming in pain. It was so intense I began to bite my husband’s arm in between the screams. He kept telling me, “You can do this. I’m here. I love you. You can do this.” His words rang hollow as I was in the worst pain I had ever experienced. Looking down I could see Gabby’s arm inside of me. When she pulled it out, her arm was soaked in blood. She then told me, “I need to push down on your stomach now. I am trying to force your uterus to start contracting.” At this point, I thought I was going to black out from the pain.
My husband works in a law enforcement capacity. He has had to put his life on the line several times. He has worked high-risk special response operations. He trains extensively on how to deal with emergencies, CPR, and other life-saving techniques. My husband was terrified. When I looked in his eyes, I saw fear. He was calm, but I could see he was afraid. With work, he feels as though he can control the situation, the plan of action, perhaps even the outcome. Here, he had no control.
Gabby then said to my primary nurse (whose name I am not revealing on purpose), “How did you not notice her uterus was not contracting? She is hemorrhaging badly.” Now I was in a full panic. Gabby yelled, “We need a doctor in here ASAP!” She said they would try and find the first doctor they could see.
A few minutes passed but those are a few minutes of agony and fear I will never forget. The thoughts that raced into my mind in between the pain were fluid and fast-paced. One idea would enter, and another would interrupt it just as fast:
I just might die today. Holy shit is this really happening? This hurts so much. Do any of these people know what the hell they are doing? Gabby seemed with it, she can help me. She’s the head nurse for a reason. That other freaking nurse didn’t know what the heck she was doing. I knew it. I knew something didn’t feel right. She looked clueless! Guillermo looks so scared. He wants to fix it but he can’t. Why are all these people staring at me? These other nurses are just here, not doing anything. Everyone seems lost. This may be the end of our story Babe. Help me. Will I ever see Adalind again? She won’t even know me. Gianna isn’t here, what if I don’t make it, I won’t even be able to tell her I love her. My mom. Should I call her? I’ll never hear my mother’s voice again. Her loud Cuban voice. My dad. My sister. My brother. My entire family! My nieces and nephews. My in-laws. My brother in law. Thank goodness they came. At least they are here, and if I don’t make it, they can help Guillermo. Pictures of my family and friends came through in waves. My friends. I thought of every Moochie (our nickname for one another) that was in my life. I remembered how many times I said I would call them back but life got in the way and I did not. I wondered if I didn’t make it, what would people say about me? I’d hoped that I would be remembered as kind, funny, and smart. I wondered how people would describe me to my children? Now I may never see them again. I wish I could tell people how important they were to me. I wish I had more time.” I kept going back to my daughters but then was jolted back to how my body felt. The room was becoming warmer. The pain was agonizing. People, time, moments, the past, the future, memories and the pain all blurred into one another.
Within minutes, my doctor came in! I cannot express to you how relieved I was to see him. You know on Christmas morning when a child spots that one gift they wanted the most with a huge red bow on it? That is how I felt when I saw him! I knew he had years of experience and I trusted him fully with my life. He looked into my eyes, held my hand and said, “Do not worry; I am going to take care of you. However, I have to put you back under anesthesia. When you wake up everything will be fine. But it has to happen right now.”
They told my husband he could wait for me right outside. I did not have time to process it all. I said to my husband, “I love you.” He said the same. We kissed, and he let go of my hand. I said a prayer and then was I out.
When I woke up, I remember thinking, “Wow, I actually woke up! I’m still here! I made it! Thank you, everyone! Thank you, God!” I remember my husband said, “Hey, how do you feel? It’s so good to see you awake.” The pain was gone, but I was not sure if it was because of the anesthesia or something else. I felt an enormous sigh of relief mixed with worry, wondering if everything was “fixed.” I remember I was utterly exhausted.
My doctor came to see me soon afterward. He told me that the surgery went well and he was able to stop the bleeding. He warned me that I had lost a significant amount of blood. He let me know my C-section recovery would now be much different but that I should be OK. He told us that I would pass large blood clots but that anything larger than a golf ball he wanted to see. That meant collecting it and placing it in a bag for him or the head nurse to examine. Lastly, he let me know that I would need a blood transfusion.
The blood transfusion took about 8 hours. They attached me to this life-saving machine for 8 hours, receiving blood from strangers. Strangers that helped save my life. Strangers that are now a part of me and made me physically complete again. My view on donating blood changed drastically that day.
My relationship with my husband also changed that day. When you nearly lose your time with someone, time suddenly becomes of the essence. He also had to help me do everything as I could not do much on my own. When I passed a large and concerning blood clot, and there was no nurse nearby to retrieve it, he gloved up and went into the toilet to grab it. In his words, “I wanted to grab it before it changed or someone would flush it down the toilet by accident.” To say this ordeal brought us closer would be an understatement. Those wedding vows took on their intended meaning during my recovery.
Seeing Gianna and Adalind once it was all over was sobering. I would be able to go home to my girls but I also nearly lost my time with them as well. It was too much to take in at the time.
After a few days, I went home, but I was severely restricted on what I could do. I was limited to the bed and the couch. My family carried Adalind to me, and I could no longer breast-feed her due to the prescriptions I was taking.
I was an emotional wreck for some time after this experience. I did not want to discuss it for several weeks. I questioned everything and went through feelings of shock, happiness, anger, and despair, often experiencing all of these emotions in one day. I found myself continually asking God, “Did that really happen?” “Why did I make it?” “How can I live better?” “How do I honor this precious gift of time I have been given?” Once I felt comfortable enough to talk about it, speaking to friends and family became therapeutic.
So how does almost dying change you? Well, it makes you less stressed about the little things. I am of Cuban descent, so a natural level of stress is always reasonable. There is a saying in the Cuban community that Cubans don’t know how to keep calm, and there is some truth to that. I learned how to relax. Not just to sit on my couch and do nothing, but how to sit in a quiet room and just breathe. How to stop for a minute and just take in, instead of giving out. I consistently look at the positive now. Naturally, I still worry and get upset, but I quickly stop and assess. Count your blessings isn’t just a phrase for me anymore.
I came to find out later that the nurse assigned to me had only been out of nursing school for six months. I was her first experience with a uterus that was not contracting properly. I would like to thank the head nurse Gabby that saved my life. She took total control of the situation and was the first line of defense in saving my life. I would not be here without her. I would also like to thank my doctor for saving my life. For making me feel at ease. For delivering two of my greatest blessings. For holding my hand and saying, “You will be OK.”
I started this post by sharing that life is often a series of circumstances beyond your control. When in a life and death situation, you learn this lesson hard and fast. There was so much that day I could not control. It changed me more than anything I have experienced until this point. My husband learned that lesson this day as well. You have to let go and trust the process. It is something that we are still working on today.
I look at everything now as a season and seasons change. To quote The Byrds and the Bible verses from which the song was inspired, “To Everything (Turn, turn, turn). There is a season (Turn, turn, turn). And a time to every purpose, under Heaven.”
I learned how to pray that day. Before that day, my prayers consisted of a feeble attempt to get God to give me what I wanted or thought that I needed. That day, I learned to pray and ask God to allow me to trust in what He wants for me. Not easy and I am still working on it. It is a daily task but one I am grateful for having as I continually turn, turn, turn on life’s complicated but wondrous journey.
When I heard that Disney was bringing Snow White her own character meal, I had to book it for my five-year-old daughter. Gianna has been devoted to Snow White since she was two. She watched the movie on repeat until she was about five. Gianna would tell anyone that would listen all about Snow White. Heigh-ho would start, and she would bellow out the words and pretend she was going to look for diamonds in the mines. Her favorite part? The interaction between Snow White and the dwarfs. As Snow White danced with the dwarfs in the cottage, she would dance by herself or grab whoever was near to dance with her. I will never forget these memories.
When Gianna discovered Frozen, I thought surely she would move on to Elsa as her favorite. A princess with magical powers? Not to mention the hit song “Let It Go.” But no, my sweet girl stayed devoted to Snow White. Elsa came in a close second but did not top her beloved Snow White. 
I booked the Snow White character meal, officially titled Storybook Dining at Artist Point, several months ago. This is a tough reservation to get, and I highly recommend booking it up to 180 days in advance. I have come to learn that it is not an exaggeration to book 180 days in advance, but a necessity for these highly sought out dining experiences.
Storybook Dining is located at the Artist Point restaurant in Disney’s Fort Wilderness. The theme fits in perfectly with this rustic Disney resort because the restaurant was transformed into the enchanted forest. Disney has perfected the art of theme dining, and this experience is supreme.
We arrived early for our reservation, and we were seated about 10 minutes after our reservation time. As we were escorted to our table, we walked right past the Evil Queen! In the restaurant, the Evil Queen has her own photo spot. Her royal evilness does not walk around the tables to meet with you. If you want to meet her, you go to her!
We were seated towards the back of the restaurant where we had a perfect view of where the characters enter and leave the restaurant. Characters in this dining experience include Snow White, Dopey, Grumpy and the Evil Queen. As each character was introduced, their theme music played for all to enjoy and the trees above the tables light up. They come out dancing, clapping, jovial and interacting with guests, except of course the Evil Queen.
The menu did not disappoint and was wonderfully themed. I had the Enchanted Apple cocktail, and my husband had the Dead Man’s Ale. Both were excellent. What I loved about this dining experience was that the food came to us and we did not have to leave the table. In many Disney character experiences, the food is buffet style. You have to leave your table to get your food. This can be complicated with little ones and with characters coming to your table for the meet and greet. Having the food come to you simplifies the process and enhances the experience in my opinion.
I loved the table’s centerpiece! It was a tree that rotated (like a lazy Susan) so sharing food amongst the table was a breeze. The appetizers are tapas sized, and they are table shared. The squash soup was served in a small cauldron with a marshmallow. It was delicious! Other appetizers included Hunter’s chicken pie and wicked shrimp cocktail. All three appetizers were yummy and small enough that they left room for the main course. Children get their own appetizers. My girls are served veggie sticks with ranch and a little dinner roll with butter.
For dinner, my husband had the royal prime rib. I tried some of his prime rib, and both pieces I had were tender and flavorful. He finished his plate but did say that he found some of the prime rib too fatty. I ordered the Stroll Through Nature plate. It consisted of butternut squash, arugula, gnocchi, sage, and parmesan. It was scrumptious! This meal is a fantastic option for vegetarians. My daughters had the paste with cheese, and it was more than your run of mill macaroni and cheese. It too was delicious. The portions were huge, and we took half of my plate and the children’s plates home to enjoy the next day. 
Once the main course was over, it was on to dessert! The desserts were also shareable and Instagram worthy! The desserts included: Miner’s Treasure sponge cake, Fairy Tale Gooseberry Pie, and a Poison Apple mousse. I could probably pass on the pie, but the other two were very good.
Lastly, you are presented with The Hunter’s Gift to the Queen. Your waitress or waiter will bring you this dessert in a smoking box filled with chocolate ganache hearts and maple popcorn. It is a dare I say, magical and fantastic way to end the meal!
The characters were all fun and engaging. We brought my daughter’s Snow White book and had all the characters sign it. Snow White even danced with my little girl, and Dopey and Grumpy also interacted very well with all the children. The Queen never broke character and was the icing on the cake! I was worried that my two year old would be afraid of the Queen, but she was not. Her favorites, however, were the dwarfs!
For reference, Snow White also makes appearances at Epcot or Magic Kingdom. The Dwarfs are not easy to meet. They only appear during Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party or Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party. The Evil Queen is even more special as meeting any Disney Villain is quite rare! This meal was overall memorable, delicious and we will return!
I want to enjoy as many of these experiences with my little ones as time and budget will allow. One day my oldest daughter won’t believe that was actually Snow White she met and danced with that night. She’ll know that was an actress playing a part and that sweet innocence will be no more. Seeing her face light up as she danced with Snow White, hugged the dwarfs and met the Queen is a memory I will treasure forever. Luckily, I have Adalind to follow and that will allow me to enjoy these experiences all over again.
Some Tips:
Book early! This experience only serves dinner between 4:00- 9pm every evening. The cost is $55.00 per adult (10 years and up) and $33.00 per child (3 and up). If your child is as into Snow White as my daughter is, bring Snow White’s book or something else special for the characters to sign. Dress the part! I dressed both my girls as Snow White and that made the experience much more memorable. The next time I go, I will dress like the Evil Queen.
Check out my Instagram: shepensblog for all the highlights and pictures of this fantastic character dining experience!
#disney #disneyfamily #snowwhite #memories #dining #disneydining #waltdisneyworld #storybook
We are a theme park family that loves living near so many world-class attractions and experiences! Part of my blog will share my insights, stories, and memories of raising our girls in Central Florida. This may help you plan your next vacation or grow to learn what it is like raising a family near the world’s most famous mouse.
Growing up in Miami, FL allowed me to visit Disney World more frequently than if I had lived in another state. Orlando was only a 3 to 4-hour drive, and we could go for a quick weekend trip easily. As a child, I went to Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and MGM (as it was known then). I was also able to visit Animal Kingdom once it opened.
When I went to Magic Kingdom with my family, I knew how special it was. My parents did not have the means to do character meals or extra unique experiences. For me, just being inside the park, riding the rides and viewing the castle was all I needed as a child. It was special indeed. It is incredible how special those trips were without all the “extras.” My parents though worked hard so that I could better myself and one day do more for my family than what they were able to do for us. This is not to say my parents did not do enough for me. They did, but they wanted us to be successful so that we could have many of the life experiences they were not able to provide.
When I started dating my husband, our first trip together as a couple was to Orlando, Florida. We went to Universal Studios and Magic Kingdom on a cold January weekend. I will never forget it. I learned that my boyfriend was terrified of roller coasters. I rode them with ease and rode them alone throughout our first years together. He would not be scared of them forever, but it took a few years of us dating for him to overcome his fear.
After that, we went to Disney more times than I could count. We would spend our time between Universal Studios and Disney World. Back then, my husband loved to snack on the churros and turkey legs. My go-to snack has always been the Mickey ears ice cream bar. You can get quite full eating just delicious snacks at Disney World! Make sure to save room for meals if you plan on eating lunch or dinner at the parks!
One of our favorite memories was walking near the Haunted Mansion when we spotted the churros. My husband had to have one. If you have ever seen the churros at Magic Kingdom, you know how long they are! My husband purchased the churro and handed it to me. I began walking away as he paid. As I was walking, a bird swooped down and took the churro right out of my hand! We could not believe it! A tourist that was filming his family caught the entire thing on camera. It is a fun memory that we still talk about to this day. Be careful of the birds when you visit Magic Kingdom!
My first character meal experience was with my husband (then boyfriend). We had a Thanksgiving meal at Liberty Tavern in Magic Kingdom. It was excellent! The food was an all-American feast, and Mickey and Minnie were dressed in their best pilgrim attire. After that, I was hooked on character meals! I wanted to experience more of what Disney had to offer and learn more about Disney than I ever could. We honeymooned in Disney World for a week in 2010, and it was, pun intended, magical!
Now that we have a family of our own, we continue to build more memories with our girls. Disney is not cheap, but we feel it is worth it for the experiences we share. It helps that we live in Orlando so we do not have the pressure of having to do everything in one day. We can go when we please and stay in the park as long as we want. It is a blessing! Here are some tips as you plan your Disney vacation:
Download the Disney My Experience App! You can book your fastpasses, manage vacation photos taken by cast members, view park maps, and even order food! We order all our food off the app when we are not doing a sit down/table service meal. When we arrive at the restaurant, we find a seat and then head over to the mobile order section to pick up our food. No waiting and a huge time saver. This is fantastic if you have little ones! Note: not all restaurants offer mobile ordering, but we love the ones that do!
If you can come to Disney in January or February that is ideal! Not Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend and not President’s Day weekend, but outside of those weekends, January and February are excellent times to visit Disney World. Fewer crowds and cooler weather. Some attractions like Splash Mountain often close in January for refurbishment, but I still find it worth going during this time of year due to the lower crowds and less heat. If you can avoid Disney World in June, July and August, please avoid it. It is sweltering, humid and over-crowded. I only recommend the summer months if you plan to take it easy and spend half the day back at your hotel pool.
Book any character meal well in advance. 180 days is normal when booking character meals such as Chef Mickey or Cinderella’s Royal Table.
Book your fastpasses as soon as you can. You can book your first three fastpasses back to back. Then you can obtain more once you use the first three. There are two ways you can work your day. You can arrive at rope drop and do hard to ride attractions like Dwarf Mine Train first, starting your fastpasses a bit later, say around 11 am. Arriving at rope drop will afford you time to do an attraction like Mine Train as well as a few others before starting to use your fastpasses. This, of course, is not always feasible with little ones. For that reason, the other plan works well too. You could use your first three fastpasses as soon as possible back to back and then start obtaining new ones once you’ve used the first three. Do what is best for your family!
Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party is a great way to experience Magic Kingdom with lower crowds and less heat since the party is at night. You can enter the park as early as 4 pm the day of the party. The parties in September are ideal for lower crowds. The closer you get to Halloween, the higher the crowds. The same is true for Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party. Ideally, it is good to go in November. As you get closer to Christmas, it gets much busier! Nothing beats the decorations at Magic Kingdom between Halloween and Christmas! Walking down Main Street during the holiday season is truly magical!
With the little ones, planning is necessary! Be sure to pack snacks and an extra water bottle or two. If your little one is getting autographs, you can purchase your autograph book ahead of time on Amazon. Much cheaper than inside the park! Pack raincoats and pre-purchase them as well via Amazon or Target. Less expensive than inside the parks. If you are coming to the parks anytime between April-September, you will need sunscreen. While I know sunscreen is a year-round thing, you definitely need it during April-September, as it is HOT!
If your family likes popcorn and you will return to the parks, buy the popcorn bucket. Refills are only $2, and you have a souvenir in the bucket itself.
If you want to do all the attractions in Magic Kingdom and you have little ones, plan to dedicate at least two days to that park. Epcot, Animal Kingdom, and Hollywood Studios can be done in one day if you arrive early and plan ahead.
Booking a character breakfast will not guarantee you early admission to the parks. They usually let you in only about 10 to 15 minutes before your reservation time. What it does guarantee is that you will be able to get some stunning photographs with a nearly empty park!
Mouse ears are all the rage! There are a pair of mouse ears to suit everyone’s taste. I am currently obsessed with mouse ears, and my collection keeps growing! You can purchase them inside the parks for about $24.95. You can also scan Instagram and Etsy for custom made mouse ears. I frequently post pictures of my ears on my Instagram with tags on where you can purchase your own.
If your phone tends to drain its battery fast, bring an external charger. Disney does have charging stations throughout the parks where you can plug in, but you have to stay with your phone. Having an external charger avoids this. You will use your phone…A LOT. You will use it for the My Disney Experience App, taking pictures, ordering food and assisting you if your child has a meltdown (have their favorite video on standby).
Pack Ziploc bags for diaper changes or to keep items dry on the rides where you may get wet. You can also use Ziploc bags for distributing snacks. Do not forget the hand sanitizer!
There are baby care centers in every park. USE THEM. Especially if you have little ones still in diapers. They have AC, free water, bathrooms, changing stations for baby, TVs, books and even private nursing rooms. They also have a shop where you can purchase items you may need like Tylenol.
Lastly, if your little one tends to wander, get them an ID bracelet or ID necklace. You want something that will quickly identify them and includes your phone number so that you can be reunited should you become separated.
Have fun and expect that things will happen that are out of your control. Rides may be closed. It may rain. A tourist may get on your nerves. Remember that you are at Disney World, making memories that will last a lifetime! Do like Elsa and “Let it Go!” Enjoy every moment of the Disney story you write with your family!
Be sure to check out my Instagram @shepensblog to follow along with us on our Disney adventures!
“Mama, do you believe in magic?” She asked me with a curious look on her face. Kids do not wait for the perfect time to ask you a question. When I need to speak to my husband about something that may require more than a yes or no answer, I will wait for a “good time” to talk to him about it. That “good time” might be after the kids have gone to bed. Kids, however, do not wait. They don’t care if you are tired. They don’t care if you’re hungry. They don’t care if you’ve had a long day or if you have five million other things on your mind. They ask you something the minute it comes to their mind. As a parent, you learn that you often have to think on your feet because a five-year-old does not wait for a good time.
When my daughter asked me the magic question, I was not sure how to answer. My first thought was if I told her no, what about Santa Claus? The Easter Bunny? Mickey Mouse and Disney World? Instead of coming up with an answer right then, I shifted the conversation. I asked her, “Did someone at school talk about magic today?” She replied, “Yeah and some kids said that some magic isn’t for real. Like unicorns.” My heart sank. I want my little girl to believe in unicorns until she is thirty! OK, maybe not thirty, but you get the idea. I asked her, “Well what do you believe? Do you believe in unicorns?” “Well I don’t know mama, but I think that they live in a magical land like Peter Pan does.” I replied, “Well, it sounds like you believe in unicorns!” She quickly exclaimed, “Yeah I guess I do believe in unicorns! Oh mommy, I’m so happy. I love unicorns.” The conversation moved towards the rest of her school day.
Throughout the day, I kept thinking about the magic question. I went back to it several times in my mind. I started thinking back to when I found out my parents were Santa or that the Tooth Fairy was my mom. It made me sad to think that in just a few years, perhaps even sooner than that, my oldest daughter would no longer believe in these magical stories.
In that moment, I had a thought that “believing in magic” does not have to mean Santa, unicorns or the Tooth Fairy. I want both my girls to never forget that. Special moments in life that give you butterflies in your stomach or cause you to realize there has to be a creator, a plan, a reason for life are all magical.
Time will seem to stop when you slow dance with someone special. That’s magical. Spotting a rainbow after a stressful day. That’s magical. Your first kiss. That’s magical.
Finding a new best friend. Falling in love. Going to your first concert. Seeing snow fall for the first time. Visiting the Grand Canyon. Talking for hours on the phone with someone you’ve connected with. Giving to someone in need. Looking at the stars and knowing you are never alone in the universe. Experiencing a miracle. All are magical.
These wondrous life experiences and so many more await you. Here’s the thing though, to experience this magic, you have to be open to it. Life isn’t magical if you’re sitting on the sidelines. You have to be an active participant. You’ve got to take it all in and then some. Be sure to enjoy the beauty of the rainstorm while you wait for the rainbow. Enjoy the other seasons while you wait for the snowfall. Fall in love with yourself first. Don’t just talk, write. Don’t just give money, give time. Look at the stars knowing there is always a new day ahead. And when you experience a miracle, don’t take it for granted. That’s where the real magic lives.
I lied to my daughter recently. As parents, we tell white lies to our children frequently. For instance, when your child has had enough cookies but asked for more, you’ll say, “No we don’t have any more cookies,” knowing there are more cookies hidden behind that cereal that no one’s eating. On this particular day, this lie was different. We were driving along an extended road that has several blind curves. On the left of this road, there are state protected forests and wildlife. On the right, there are a few low lying ponds perched along Florida suburbia. It is normal to see a mama deer and her fawn in the grass doing their best to keep their distance from the cars and trucks on the road. We were on our way to school.
As we took a curve, we saw a turtle trying to cross the road. In the past, I have pulled over, picked up a frightened turtle, and moved it to safety. This time I could not stop. The road did not have anywhere to pull over safely. To help the turtle, I would have needed to stop my car in the middle of the street, endangering other drivers and us. I had to keep driving and felt terrible about doing so. Without hesitation, my daughter asked me, “Mama is that turtle going to get run over and die?” I quickly answered, “No baby, I’m sure he’ll be fine and make it to the other side.” Of course, I had no way of knowing this. With worry in her voice, she quickly followed up with, “How do you know?” I said, “I’ve seen turtles cross the street all the time, I’m sure he will be fine.” Inside, however, I felt this turtle was most likely going to hit by a car. People speed down this road excessively and more so in the morning rush.
She, however, was satisfied with that answer and replied, “You’re right, mama! He is going to make it to the other side and see his friends! That’s why the turtle crossed the road! Wacka Wacka!” My five-year-old is also in a phase where she tells jokes and imitates Fonzie from the Muppets. I said, “Yup, that is exactly what is going to happen! He’ll be just fine”, and we continued on our way. After I dropped her off, I could not help but think back to that turtle.
I thought to myself, “Did I do her any favors by lying to her?” Maybe I should have just told her, “He may get hit by a car, he may not. I really don’t know.” I began asking myself why I lied to her. I questioned myself as we mothers often do, “Did I do the right thing? Don’t I want her to be strong and know that life is sometimes painful? Don’t I want her to know that the turtle was most likely toast?” I began to toss back and forth in my mind what I should or should not have said. “She’s only five. Why make her think such sad things?” The other half of my brain would say, “But I need her to be strong for this world. I should have told her he might get hit by a car. She needs to know that’s a possibility.” As you read this, you’re probably thinking to yourself that I need to relax. You might be saying, “Lady, this isn’t that big of a deal. I tell my kids that animals are going to be fine all the time knowing they are not going to be.”
I realized soon after why I lied to her. My daughter is such a positive girl. She looks at everything as beautiful. She often replies with, “Mama everything is OK because God loves us.” In her world, the glass isn’t always half full, it’s boiling over. I do not want her to lose that. In a world that will try and tear her down and make her cynical, I never want her to lose that positivity. She spreads sunshine even on the cloudiest of days.
As I made my way back down the same road where the turtle was crossing before, I thought to myself, “It’s OK that I told her he would be fine. Even if he may not be. There’s always a chance he made it to the other side.” The doubt began to creep in. I was sure I was about to see a dead turtle. I started to make that curve towards the side of where the turtle would be if he survived. I slowed down, and my eyes began to scour the bottom of the road.
My eyes immediately saw little legs doing their best to push their way up a small hill. There was the turtle. Walking along, doing its best to climb that hill. An enormous smile came to my face. I thought to myself, “Gianna, you were right. He made it to the other side and would be meeting up with his friends after all.” It was refreshing to witness.
In life, we never know what the outcome will be, but we can control how we perceive the process and the results. For my beautiful girls, Gianna Noelle and Adalind Marie, I want you to look at the world with positivity. If you are ever given a choice and you want to cross a road, don’t let fear hold you back. The future is going to come regardless. You will cross that road to get where you are going, or you’ll stay behind, afraid that you could get hurt in trying to pass. Go ahead and cross that road. What awaits you on the other side may be unexpected and glorious, or it may be heartbreaking and hard. You will always come out a better and stronger person because of the process.
I knew the comments and questions would come swiftly. I underestimated how quickly they’d come. After the birth of our second daughter, the question came before I even left the hospital. An orderly asked, “Are you going to try for the boy?” Many people would just dictate, “Better get started on trying for the boy!” Our first daughter was born in 2013, and we were (and still are) over the moon in love with her. In 2016, I was pregnant again, and like the first time around, we did not find out the sex of the baby. I have always felt there are too few great surprises in life and my husband agreed. We wanted the surprise and excitement of the doctor exclaiming, “It’s a ____!” We also honestly did not care if it was a boy or a girl. As cliché as it may sound, we just wanted a healthy baby.
Throughout my second pregnancy, we were asked, “What are you going to do if it’s another girl?” I understand that sometimes people are just trying to make conversation. Sometimes people are just curious and want to know, “Hey, are you going to try for the boy?” Sometimes, however, these questions come with a twinge of “Another girl isn’t enough.”
I get it. We are programmed to think the perfect family is one girl and one boy, a golden retriever and a white picket fence. I understand that boy moms are asked the same thing, “Are you going to try for the girl?” However, when you have two girls and do not try for the boy, there is an underlying current for many people that a girl or girls are not enough. This is especially true in a Hispanic culture that puts an incredible value on having a boy. For some, there is a sense of failure in having only girls.
My husband and I come from large Hispanic families. My husband comes from a family of two boys. My mother had my brother first followed by two girls. Having a boy to “carry on your name” is still a huge deal in many Hispanic families. And so, after the birth of my second daughter, the question of, “So when are you going to start trying for the boy?” came over and over but more so when we went to Miami to visit our family. We were thrilled to introduce our newest and second baby girl to our hometown families.
As the first night of our visit winded down, I went to bed early. Both girls were sound asleep, and I was exhausted. My husband stayed up to spend some time with his extended family that was in town. He was inevitably asked, “You’re going to try for the boy right?” My husband said, “No, we’re good with the two girls.” The reply back was immediate. “That’s like going to bat and fouling out both times!” My husband was taken aback. He was so grateful to have two healthy children and a wife survive both pregnancies (more on that later), that he was simply floored at the comment. It’s about time we changed the commentary.
Let’s change the narrative that girls are somehow, not enough. Let’s move away from, “You can’t have only girls. You need to try for the boy.” Let’s move away from, “Your husband probably really wants a boy and just doesn’t want to say it.” Let’s move away from, “Don’t you want a boy to play baseball with?”
Let’s move the narrative to, “You’re incredibly blessed to have not just one but two girls!” Let’s move the narrative to, “Girls are wonderful!” Let’s move the narrative to, “Your husband is so blessed to have two healthy children!” Let’s move the narrative to, “A girl! That is so awesome! You can play dolls AND baseball or softball with her!”
See how easy that was? This is not for those people that ask these questions or share their thoughts to make conversation. This is for all those people that think, “A girl isn’t enough.” This is for all those people that think my husband somehow, “Fouled out twice.”
For all the baby girls out there, I want to say, “A girl is enough.” For all the little girls out there with big dreams, I want to say, “A girl is enough.” For all the parents of only girls, I want to say, “A girl is enough.” When it comes to having children, it’s about time we say, “A girl is enough.”
To my daughters, I want to say, “You are enough. You’re both home runs. Don’t let anybody ever tell you otherwise.”
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