Your Hair, Don’t Care!

My five-year-old daughter has beautiful curly hair. Natural ringlets with a spring in their step that match her loving personality perfectly. Her hair is long and light brown with golden highlights that glisten in the sun. She receives compliments on her hair frequently. The expressions range from, “Wow, look at ALL THAT hair!” to “Your hair is so curly, it’s gorgeous.” They compare her hair to princess Merida, Moana or even tell her she is a mini Tarzan. My daughter will never have to worry if her hair has enough volume. She has enough to spare, much like her larger than life persona.

My two-year-old daughter has beautiful straight hair. Naturally straight lines with a wisp in their step that match her relaxed personality perfectly. Her hair is getting long, nearly black, and it glistens in the moonlight. She receives compliments on her hair frequently. The expressions range from, “Wow, look at your pretty dark hair!” to “Your hair is so straight and flowy, it’s gorgeous.” They compare her hair to Snow White or Boo from Monsters, Inc. My daughter will not have to worry too much about humidity. Her hair remains flawless in all kinds of weather. Her dark hair and her masterful imitation of Zurg’s evil laugh encapsulate her mischievous persona perfectly.

My five-year-old daughter has also been told, “Wow that is A LOT of hair. How can you even take care of that?” Women have said, “She is going to HATE (they emphasize the pronunciation of the word hate) her hair when she gets older!” They have even felt the need to tell me how to parent my child, stating, “You need to straighten her hair. She’ll love it!” Naturally, they compare her to her sister. “She is going to want her sister’s straight hair when she’s a teenager!” All of this and more as her little ears listen on.

My two-year-old daughter has also been told, “Wow, you have long hair, but it looks a little thin!” Women have said, “she is going to HATE (they emphasize the pronunciation of the word hate) her hair when she gets older because it’s so straight and boring!” They have even felt the need to tell me how to parent my child, stating, “You should start putting some volumizing treatments in her hair now.” Naturally, they compare her to her sister. “She is going to want her sister’s hair color when she’s a teenager!” All of this and more as her little ears listen on.

Surprisingly, they ask, flat out, if the girls have the same father. I have been asked this twice. In case you are wondering too, they do have the same father. I know the majority of people mean no harm by their comments. They are just making conversation, observations, and sharing their thoughts. I want my girls to know; however, that their hair is gorgeous precisely as it is. I want them to know that their hair is, in every inch, as God intended it to be.

My dear Gianna, your hair is curly, often unruly. Like you, your hair is loud and makes a statement the second you enter a room. It is a light, golden brown and sunny, just like you. Your curly hair has a life of its own. It does not lend itself to manage easily, much like you. It is powerful, confident and knows what it wants to do. Every strand of your hair was placed there by a Divine Creator that looked at His finished product and said, “This is good.” Your curly hair is perfect and exquisitely you.

My dear Adalind, your hair is straight and steady. Like you and your laid-back nature, your hair is wispy and flows with the day’s weather perfectly. It is dark and playful just like you. Your rebellious nature and fearless attitude have already given Mama a run for her money. Your straight hair is easy to manage, but you are not. The dark color of your hair is your warning to the world.  You are not be toyed with, and your strengths lie beneath the surface. Every strand of your hair was placed there by a Divine Creator that looked at His finished product and said, “This is good.” Your straight hair is perfect and exquisitely you.

Maybe one day you will want to straighten your hair, Gianna. Perhaps one day you will want to change your hair color, Adalind. Maybe you will want to do these things because someone tells you something “mean” about your hair or your looks. Perhaps it will be because you are merely bored and want to try something new. When you are old enough, if either of you wants to experiment with your hair, Mama will be here to help and guide you. I will support you through whatever hair trials you may need to endure. Mama herself survived side ponytails with hot pink scrunchies, 80s rock-hard sky-high bangs, and bleached blonde hair. If my hair survived the million butterfly clips I jammed into what I called an updo, your hair can survive anything.

Here is what I want both of you to know. You will have bad hair days. You will have days that you despise your hair. I want you to look back at what your Mama wrote and remember there was a time that your hair was not a worry for you at all. That you loved and accepted it as it was. That there was a time in your life that you did not pull, yank, heat dry, or over product your hair to death in an attempt to make it “flawless.” Remembering that there was a time in your life that you already knew, it was “flawless” and you did not care what other people thought. You were too busy enjoying life to “hate” your hair.

Here is what I want both of you never to forget. While I want you to have fun and “play” with your hair, I never want you to forget the hair that made you, YOU. The hair that is an extension of your personality. The hair that is a part of who you were created to be. The hair that is the perfect match to your beautiful soul. The hair that Mama adores, Dada goes gaga for and that God perfectly designed, just for you. 

Love,

Mommy

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