My daughter starts Kindergarten this month, and I am worried about her first year at a big kid school.  I have the usual mom concerns. Those include her making friends, lunchtime, and the dreaded car line. I am also terrified she will not make it home on any given day. Will she be shot at school? I wrote that last line with terror in my heart. 

When my mom sent me to Kindergarten in the 1980s, school shootings did not cross her mind. Those thoughts would not come until 1999. I was a high school senior in 1999 when Columbine forever changed the school landscape in America. My mom suddenly became worried about school shootings. School shootings became something that we talked about over dinner during my last two months as a high school student.

In between thoughts about my prom dress were feelings such as, “That could have happened at my school.” I discussed with my closest friends, which classmate would most likely commit such an atrocity. These conversations were brutal, honest, and scary. I counted down until graduation and thought, “If I make it, I’ll never have to think about this fear again.” Back then, we all kept telling ourselves that Columbine was a rare event. It would never happen again. Little did we know there would be countless school shootings after Columbine. Little did we know mass shootings would soon become a regular part of a 24-hour news cycle.

Now, 20 years after Columbine and only days after another mass shooting, I am getting ready to drop my daughter off at Kindergarten with fear in my heart for her life and her safety. Some may say that I have nothing to fear. The data suggests that it is much more likely you will die in a car accident versus a mass shooting. 

My response? At least with cars, we do what we can to mitigate the risks. We create safer cars, we have police to hand out citations for offenses, and we continue to innovate and legislate our roads and automobiles to make life safer for all. Have we done that with military-style weapons? I am not talking handguns. I am talking military-style weapons. As both a mother and a gun owner, I cannot in good faith, say yes.   

The latest shooting in El Paso, Texas hit home for us as a family. We lived in El Paso for six years, and I shopped at that Walmart. We became a part of that community. It broke our hearts and reminded us yet again that this is our new normal.

What have we done since Columbine to prevent mass shootings? Some would argue nothing. Some would say, not enough. As a mother, I am not here to argue either point. I only want to drop my daughter off at school or go shopping with my kids in peace. I realize that people intent on evil will always find a way to commit evil acts. I know that we have a second amendment that gives us a right to bear arms. I know these two facts better than most. 

My husband works in a law enforcement capacity, and he deals with evil people frequently. He owns guns, for both work and personal use. I go shooting with my husband and with our friends, and I have enjoyed it. I have zero shame in sharing that information.

A gun range my husband joined required him to jump through massive hoops to become a member. His prior and current work experience did not matter. His Criminal Justice Degree did not matter. He had to put in time, effort, and money to become a member. The entire process was six months long and involved testing and meeting with different range masters before he could officially join. When we discussed it, we said, “Well, at least we know this will help deter those with evil intentions from joining this particular range.” 

These requirements for membership are not foolproof.  An evil person can still go through the entire process to become a member of that particular club. However, a person wanting to shoot up a gun club will most likely choose to join a gun range with fewer restrictions for membership. It is just common sense.

The same is true of what we call soft targets. Malls, stores, restaurants, and schools are what we call today, “soft targets.” These places offer those intending to commit violence easy access. People in these places are generally pre-occupied and unarmed. A person intending on a mass shooting will not go into a police station to perform such an act. Mostly, these soft targets, like schools and shopping malls, are sitting ducks. As my husband says, most crimes are crimes of opportunity, and a criminal is going to take the easiest route necessary to commit their crime. It is just common sense.

Where does that leave us then? It leaves us right where we are now. Two sides fighting one another with no middle ground solutions offered that make sense. It leaves us with politicians more concerned with their polling numbers than with finding common ground.

Does this mean I want to arm teachers? Does this infer I believe every person needs to own a firearm? I do not pretend to know all the answers, but I do acknowledge that we are overdue for a proper debate on this issue. 

I acknowledge that we have to find a way to defend these soft targets and common sense tells me, good people with weapons stop bad people with weapons. 

I also acknowledge that a military-style weapon capable of firing multiple rounds, either a semi-automatic or a fully automatic firearm should have tighter restrictions for purchase. I am not saying ban. I am saying, jump through a couple of hoops to purchase one. Those hoops will not stop every evil act, but they would create a buffer, a barrier, a deterrent. That, in turn, will save lives. It will not save every life, but many lives. You do not buckle your seatbelt because you know you will never have an accident, you buckle your belt in case you do. 

If you are a gun owner like me and what I have said above bothers you, I understand. You believe that limits on firearms lead to a tyrannical government. I know this well. My parents fled Communism, and I know that fear. I am not suggesting a ban; I am suggesting jumping through a few “hoops” for military-style weapons. Those “hoops” could include specialized licensing, mental health exams, a firearm exam, or whatever series of steps are agreed upon through the legislative process. This will not lead to the banning of all guns but will put in place necessary steps to obtain military-style weapons. Also, let’s be real. Twenty children died in Newtown, and nothing was banned. Guns are not going anywhere. 

Many will say we have a lack of God problem in this country. I believe that people with a belief in a Creator tend to avoid murderous rampages. I also know many atheists that would never commit such an act. 

Many will say we have a mental health problem in this country. I believe that many mothers do not know what to do with their violent children. Repeatedly we hear of mothers begging for help. They see the signs. They want to get their children help, yet they have nowhere to turn. I also know that most mentally ill people will not commit murderous rampages.

Many will say we have an internet problem in this country. Before the rise of the internet, people intent on evil were isolated. Now, at the click of a button, they connect with other like-minded violent people that validate and encourage their evil thoughts and plans.

Many will say we fix the lack of God problem, the mental health issue, the guns, or the internet, and we fix it all. They focus on one part of this issue so tightly; they ignore the rest of the problems that encompass this complex issue. I say the problem is all of the above. We have to start somewhere because as of yet, we have not started anywhere.

We cannot fix all of these problems in one day. There will be debates and excellent points made on all sides. I have a feeling that somewhere in the middle lies the answer. Somewhere in the middle lies the common sense. Somewhere in the middle is where we can move beyond political pandering to finding solutions. I hope it happens in my lifetime. 

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